How to get more citations: red hot new evidence?

Wanna get more  citations to your papers? Start with the title.

No colons, no question marks [evidence here  (gated); don't look here].

More  acronyms [link].

And don’t even think about humorous and  amusing phrases [link].

Didn’t help? Don’t despair:

“no more than 20% of citations of prominent papers involve the citer actually reading the papers in question” [link]